Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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