Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The air was thick with penises
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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