i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize