She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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