How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
my poor anus
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
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