well I can't set my house on fire every night
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize