Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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