He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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