So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize