i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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