O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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