You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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