giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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