her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
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I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm just crazy horny about you
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Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize