Non-Jews are for practice
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
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I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So. Much. Porn.
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