i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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