have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Randomize