She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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