Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize