Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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