One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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