Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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