someone threw a dead crab at me
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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