Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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