i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize