Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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