I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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