It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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