Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize