is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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