i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize