Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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