And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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