Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize