he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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