I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize