i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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