No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize