Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
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I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
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This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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