I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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