in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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