He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize