My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
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I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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