he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
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halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
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You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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