Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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