I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
she pinky promised me she was 18
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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