wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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