if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize