Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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