and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize